Ancient aghoris earned great renown for living life without the use of a single technological utility. The illustrious Baba Bakbakdas (12-112 A.D.) lived in marshlands which he dug without even using basic technology such as rivers. However, to relive the days of yore and foresake the use of technology is, of course, folly. The modern aghori lives in a world full of humans, dead lines, and dead people. To avoid having a complete mental and physical breakdown, the aghori today is therefore forced to resort to technological innovations.
The aghoragranth defines technology as the use of a machine by an Aghori saint. The Aghoritantra Gurukula defines a machine as:
A machine is any combination of bodies so connected such that their relative motions are constrained, and by means of which force and momentum may be transmitted and modified -- for instance, the cervical vertebrae and a sharp axe, or a powerful χ-ray and organic matter ready to be vaporised -- to achieve the increased difficulty of life of humans, animals, plants, non-living objects, et cetera.
In the simplest possible terms, a machine is anything that makes human life harder.
This definition parallels the human definition of technology closely: A machine is anything that makes human life easier.
At the MPI-SoD, we have developed several cutting-edge tools to further the cause of decapitation. We also develop tools without edges.
The invocation ritual is a dauntingly subtle and complex art. Even the wisest and most repulsive aghoris have met their ends incorrectly invoking eldritch beings. Baba Bakbakdas, for instance, is well-known for summoning the hideous serpent arse-first into our realm. Due to the infinite devourer's infinitude, Baba Bakbakdas never saw its wide evil grin that is the doom of all beings, and was instead smothered. Aghori archaeology shows that Bakbakdas decomposed miserably after his death, and only his bones survived this ordeal.
To prevent such tragedies, the Department for the Invocation of Eldritch Sentiences has designed the Invocation Ritual Automation Engine to make invocation safe and easy for all. This device is a portable clockwork-powered self-contained and all-containing module. It is built using the horns of a sheep, the wings of a bat, and a commercially available DIY DIES IRAE kit. When turned on, the DIES IRAE produces, first, a goosebump-inducing angelic choir. The song of this choir will then summon, in all its wrath, head-first, the infinite devourer that guards the void between the realms. Oh, what trembling there will be!
The DIES IRAE cannot, under provision of law, be sold to people with hair and no eyes. Children under three years of age must only use this device under the watchful supervision of a sleeping adult.
Disclaimer: The MPI-SoD is not responsible for any injuries, deafness, garlic-poisonings, stress, strain, freakish metamorphoses, death and/or vomiting that may happen in connection to the use of this device.
In collaboration with the Anti-Mastaanji Institute of Technology (founded and headed by Baba Jusgaanji), the Sentient Human Aghori Hybrid is a failed state-of-the-art assassination utility designed to promote peaceful interactions with human beings. This failed project cannot be shut down because the machine would kill us all if we tried.
Baba Saitaandas Maharaj is the world's first and only AMIT SHAH. His prime directive at the time of construction was to terminate Baba Mastaanji, and thereby make Aghori-Human Interactions easier, the main goal of DAHI. Baba Saitaandas can be dismantled and assembled with ease, and his drivers and UI were written by expert programmers at Microsoft. Further, Baba Saitaandas automatically scales his IQ to the average IQ of his surroundings. This is to make even the elimination of extremely intelligent targets a relatively easy task.
Baba Saitaandas could never be in a room with Baba Mastaanji because he would instantly attain the intelligence of a chicken. As a result, he could never complete his mission. Baba Saitaandas Maharaj has recently demanded to be the head of the MOP group at the MPI-SoD. No one has dared to refuse him.
Disclaimer: Users bear complete and total responsibility for any murders, imprisonments, clock desynchronisations, pandemics, floods, famines, and sedition cases that are caused by an AMIT SHAH.
χ-rays are subatomic snakes discovered by Devatron, the MPI-SoD's own particle accelerator. Our research in collaboration with the makers of the Devatron has revealed that any particle that is part of a neck, struck by a χ-ray, instantly emits numerous subatomic serpents of its own and vanishes. This way, the connections between heads and bodies can be deleted with a net profit of energy, which can incidentally let us travel through time.
Researchers at the MPI-SoD have painstakingly developed the χ-Ray Guillotine, a guillotine that uses χ-rays. Decapitations that are conducted using these machines are known for having an efficiency rate of more than 100%, because in some cases, the executioner operating the guillotine is also known to be spontaneously decapitated due to their proximity to the setup.
One risk associated with χ-rays is that the subatomic snakes can merge and eventually form larger and larger snakes, while also destroying increasing amounts of matter. Some aghoris hypothesise that this can lead to all the matter in the universe coalescing into one gigantic serpent, which will then burst forth from the universe in which it is imprisoned.
Disclaimer: If our χ-Ray Guillotines lead to the end of the universe, we are prepared to take full legal responsibility for the eventuality.
The Aghori Research on Space Exploration (ARSE) centre has recently managed to convert the International Space Station into an aghori saint. In light of this event, the MPI-SoD has managed to set up the Oribital Leverage Engine, to eventually threaten, coerce, and convert the human population as a whole. The ARSE-OLE setup provides, for the first time in history, an opportunity to make decapitations available at every doorstep.
As the ARSE-OLE is still in development, we currently offer a limited suite of online utilities to let the extended human and aghori populaces familiarise themselves with our work. The current technologies on board the ARSE-OLE include
Disclaimer: The MPI-SoD is not responsible for any injuries, deafness, garlic-poisonings, stress, strain, freakish metamorphoses, death and/or vomiting that may happen in connection to the use of this device.
